As i’m not enough depressed, the depressional season hits me like a train. I wanna only sleep, i’m tired of living, i have the energy of a sloth. I just wanna stay in bed and watch the wall.
And i hate this now that halloween comes, because i love this holiday. Also my (probably) binge eating at night is getting worse, more i become depress more i wanna throw food into my throat like it was a trash compactor. Bad coping mechanism, i know, but i can stop? No.
I’m trying so bad to find alternatives, but read books, thing i used to love, is difficult i read the same phrase 5-6 times and my concentrartion is gone. Drawing, same thing, only take the digital pen in my hand seems an impossibile obstacle. Gaming is a thing i can do, but at night is not a good idea.
I just don’t wanna to feel a lot of suffer all day, all night, but seems my way of living. My pets help me, they give me so much love, but also anxiety because from when my first cat years ago is dead i have the fear of lose them, constanty.
Is real a bad period. Month. Year.