After every trauma my ocd get worse and worse. Every little thing i do become something wrong that can be dangerous for my family. Or i feel like i don't deserve to be happy because instead would be happen something bad. I know is my ocd that make me think like that, but i can't … Continue reading Drown in my OCD
I had hope but reality have punch me in the face today. Yesterday Felix is got worse, so we brought him to the emergency hospital for pets again. This time they decided to do blood exam, that they could do previously, they make we hope and than destroy us. Nothing remains to do for my … Continue reading Feline leukemia
Yesterday i taked my cat to the emergency hospital for pets. He started breathing with his mouth open. Now is at the vet ambulatory. The vet sayd we can only hope at this point is really severe. This year took me to much, i'm really desperate.
Attention ⚠ - trigger, self harm Since February i was clean, damn, but all the times i have a bad argue i feel the need of feel pain on my skin and not only in my head. All the time i feel guilty for been a waste of space and a problem for my family … Continue reading Self harm again
With the snow and the cold, not very common at march in Italy, i caught a cold that is get worse in a bronchitis. Is 4-5 days that i live of mint candy and tissues. I already have problems with sleep without cough all night.
// Attention! Trigger self-harm // // I was clean from self-harm since almost 2 years, and yesterday after a argue with my sister i dissociated and i trying to cut my wrist, but i fortunatly used a knife that don't cut well, so i obtein only a scrubbing and some blisters. My mom … Continue reading Self-harm and a copybook for self care
In a month i have lost my uncle, my chinchilla and my bunny. So far not the best year for sure. I'm more than broken. I just...i just don't wanna suffer like this anymore, but the sufference is always there for me. My chest hurt so much.
Yesterday my psychiatric had suggest me the electroconvulsive therapy, and i dont't take the thing well. Not at all. Honestly i feel like he sayd me that there is nothing to do for me, that i'm a lost cause, that i'm pratically dead. Yes, my depression is major and the meds doesn't help a lot, … Continue reading Electroconvulsive therapy
The cat have attack my chinchilla, i have scream for 10 minutes straight, the worst panick attack of my life. Mom take the chinchilla to the vet, at the first moment seems something not major, but she get worst and today she's gone. My heart is broken. Life take all i love.
And all i loved. I loved alone -Poe Yes, everytime i'm the one who care, listen, understand, have patience, but others don't do the same for me, never. I'm very lonely, but at the same time i know all my relationship end for the same problem, i give 100 and others give me 10. Of … Continue reading All i loved.