No is not salsa is the life with my mental illness, every time something is better after few days is start to get worse. Of course is typical of bipolar to have up and down, but the only thing i want is a minute, just a minute of quiet, when i can relax. Continue reading “One step forward, one step back”
Two post in two days, omg i’m so productive. Btw, my fidget cube is arrived today, is considerate a “trendy toy” but in reality is for people with a mental illness. I wanna see if is helpful with bouncing leg or with the continuesly pocking my acne, plus improve concentration, for now i already love it, the little red buttons are the best, so satisfating.
I feel like an equilibrist trying to find the right balance with my meds. At the end go to the doctor it wasn’t scary, but my anxiety don’t wanna understand. The doctor have changed my meds again because in the last month i had a very bad acne and my memory is getting worse. Continue reading “I’m an equilibrist”
The anxiety before an appointment with the psychiatrist is strong. Would be nice be not scared all the times i have to do with another human.
Today i went to a fair, there were some amusement park’s rides, i’m not really brave expecially with height, but i went anyway. It was nice forget for once of problems and feel only the trhrill of go down and up really fast. For some seconds no anxiety, no depression, nothing.
My immuno system doesn’t want to collaborate. My doctor says the depression makes my body’defenses weak, in teory i have to reduce the stress, but with my anxiety is impossibile, i’m always agitated, the meds i take do little for my anxiety. Infact i had fever in this days, again.
It would be nice if sometimes i can decide to do a thing and just…do it! Not for quote Labeouf but damn is hard. Anxiety and OCD kicking my head like a ball, i can’t do something without feel the sensation that if i do it something bad would happend. How i can explain to my brain that all what happened in the world is not my fault? Would be great.