Yeah a time of joy, btw the feeling i hate the most is coming in this days: anger. I hate be angry for no reason, that is common in hypomanic state but i can’t support it, i feel the urge to throw object and smash all i can reach…i just want to chill and don’t damage my things, they cost. Continue reading “Nosense anger, fatigue and stomach ache”
It’s time to celebrate “half” victory, i have done more than half of my reading challenge, in this period i can read a little more (hypomania helps) and i don’t have to re-read a phrase for 18 times before understand the meaning. I feel like i can beat this challenge and even read more books than 20 and this sensation is great.
The thing i hate most about myself is the fact that i can’t talk with the people properly, i’m not shy, i’m just too tired for talk or i can’t say a world because my brain is somewhere else. In this days i was thinking about why i struggel so much to talk to people, sure is because of my illness, but also in hypomania i don’t talk so much i’m just a little more propense to socialize. I think in part is because i’m scared that people don’t understand me or that they treat me like an idiot and this is a trauma i had from childhood, all the times people talk to me like i was stupid, because i dind’t talk much and at the time nobody knew i have a mental illness, they thought i was stupid and lazy, they make me cry a lot of times for had told me i can’t express myself well, plus i was bullied in all the years of school i did.
So if your son had problems, please go to a doctor, is not too “early” or “too young” for suffer.
In this days i was more productive, i have done a bunch of drawings, i read more and i go out more, i’m happy but at the same time can be the hypomania that starts to arrive. So i’m happy or what? I don’t know, i never know.