It’s time to celebrate “half” victory, i have done more than half of my reading challenge, in this period i can read a little more (hypomania helps) and i don’t have to re-read a phrase for 18 times before understand the meaning. I feel like i can beat this challenge and even read more books than 20 and this sensation is great.
My “diet” (no pasta, no bread, no sweets) is going good the day but really terrible at night. Two days ago i exaggerated with the emptying of the fridge, i ate too much and i get a indigestion, i past all the night crawling on the floor of the bath. This will teach me a lesson? Nah, i will probably start eating at night again in 2-3 days, damn. Now stomach ache leave me quiet.
The thing i hate most about myself is the fact that i can’t talk with the people properly, i’m not shy, i’m just too tired for talk or i can’t say a world because my brain is somewhere else. In this days i was thinking about why i struggel so much to talk to people, sure is because of my illness, but also in hypomania i don’t talk so much i’m just a little more propense to socialize. I think in part is because i’m scared that people don’t understand me or that they treat me like an idiot and this is a trauma i had from childhood, all the times people talk to me like i was stupid, because i dind’t talk much and at the time nobody knew i have a mental illness, they thought i was stupid and lazy, they make me cry a lot of times for had told me i can’t express myself well, plus i was bullied in all the years of school i did.
So if your son had problems, please go to a doctor, is not too “early” or “too young” for suffer.
Yesterday i went to an Amusement Park, Gardaland in Italy, i love it, the park is awesome. I had already talk before about the fact i love park attractions that go fast, expecially rollercoaster, because is the only time when my brain shut up, the only time i can think at nothing. For me the void is a “comfort zone”, my brain go always so fast, with a lot of thoughts, is better since i take lithium, but is never quiet.
So yestarday i enjoyed myself.
I finish now at the dentist, i can’t feel half of my mouth, but at least i didn’t had panic attack and that’s great. I did repair the broken tooth, but i have to go a lot of times more, pratically the 75% of my teeth have caries.