Today i went at the comics & manga’s fair with my sister and her two friends. I was a little anxious for my social phobia but is went all ok, i had fun. The depression was there all time in the background of my brain, but i simply ignored it.
Yeah a time of joy, btw the feeling i hate the most is coming in this days: anger. I hate be angry for no reason, that is common in hypomanic state but i can’t support it, i feel the urge to throw object and smash all i can reach…i just want to chill and don’t damage my things, they cost. Continue reading “Nosense anger, fatigue and stomach ache”
In this days i was more productive, i have done a bunch of drawings, i read more and i go out more, i’m happy but at the same time can be the hypomania that starts to arrive. So i’m happy or what? I don’t know, i never know.
Yeah, today is my bday! (27)
One part of me is happy, for the cake and the gifts, i have received a lot of awesome stuff by my family i feel loved.
But the depressive part of me is like “ah, today, the day when the hell is started” (the thought “i’m trash and i deserve nothing” never leave me). But i’m stay positive today is a good day.
Tomorrow i go with mom and sister at eat sushi and for a walk in the city, the last time i eat a lot because i’m about to start a diet, so i’m going to eat all i can.
Rarely i win in life, or i feel like i do so all the little things i can overcome become victories.
Days ago i had to put music on the ipod of my mother, something simple, but itunes decides not to recognise the ipod. Four hours i have spent on that mystery (i can’t give up, i like solving things) and when i finally did it i felt satisfied. Is so rare that i wanna dedicate a post.
I wanna see how many little victories i can collect in a year.